Cora’s Queen Bee

Birth Doula Services

Cora’s Birth Story

Why I became a doula.

The way I came into the world was less the ideal. It’s exactly the reason why I became a doula! There where a lot of things that my mother endured on the day of my birth. The story of my birth I hope never will ever happen to anyone on my watch! Picture it…if you will a terribly hot dry evening in late July 1977.. it hadn’t rained in a very long time. My mother who hated the heat I might add was carrying twins, I and my sister. She goes into onset active labour the second stage.. to early to go to the hospital. She doesn’t realize that.. this is her first pregnancy and she’s alone. Nobody to say wait at home where your more comfortable, until the last stage of labour.

She takes the bus… mom being super independent ..probley wouldn’t let anyone help her anyway… that’s a problem!

She gets the the hospital, and they send her home telling her it to early! She says I took the bus .. they say well you can wait in the waiting room for a bed, or walk around the hospital, or go home and come back. We have no beds right now!

There was nobody to really call..so she decided to go for a walk.. then come back later over heated which dosnt’t add to her wellness.. She walked around the halls of the hospital until they realized she wasn’t going anywhere and found her a bed.

The next hours where a blur,.. I remember her telling me that they forgot about her on a number of occasions. She said that her doctor had gone on vacation, and had handed her case off to some other doctor, whom she’d never meet. The other part of the problem was the labour and delivery unit was slammed, and my mom being a patient and quiet woman moved through her pain differently. She’s kinda like a cat as she put it… when your in pain, you don’t show it, because you don’t want to become a target! I told her that she should have done the opposite I would have!! The ladies in her room where yelling screaming like they were dying… those were my moms words! The noise was driving my mother a bit crazy. At this point in time in 1977 private rooms where a luxury that my mom couldn't afford. The nurses and doctors were running there butts off for everyone else. They just assumed my mom was ok because she was quiet!! Boy where they wrong.. my mom told them we ( my sister and I) where coming… she needed to push, but they didn’t listen. She took things into her own hand, started to push on her own. She told me that I started to crown when nobody was there…not good!!!!! The nurse came in and checked… finally and saw my head. Then had the audacity to tell my mom to stop pushing… you can’t have this baby now !!! WOW WHAT AN IDIOT THAT NURSE WAS like my mother had a choice in the matter!!

A woman can’t stop having a baby because of somebody else wants you too! This abrupt and ignorant way of dealing with my mom caused a lot of problem soon after! My mom didn’t feel safe and she was alone when that happens the body will dial back it hormones and stop labour all together. Her labour came to a gridding halt… and I went back inside the womb… which was bad… because my sister was right behind me!

This cause internal bleeding and ruptured my moms membranes and constricted her uterus. The cord was also wrapped around my sisters neck which caused her to losing consciousness. They had no real idea what was going on, and brought in a student doctor, that was ill equipped to handle a twin birth or complications of any kind. They helped my mom to then push me out the rest of the way…. to their surprise I was not breathing! They took me to the crash cart and did chest compressions and massaged me back to life! No this is not the end of the story… my poor mom was still delivering my sister, and was now hemorrhaging all over the floor. My sister came out blue with cord around her neck… that was awful .. she wasn’t breathing either. My mother said the doctor looked terrified and white as a sheet! They medical team scrambled over to the crash cart with my sister not saying a word. My mom said that they wouldn’t answer her when she asked what was going with us. My mom wasn’t doing good at all.. She said that at this point…. she was so tired that she had the shakes. There was ringing in her ears that was so loud that she couldn't hear anyone around her. ..she recalled blacking out. Later she woke up… the medical team had hooked her up to all kinds of machines and had made it clear that she almost died from blood loss. She asked to hold my sister and me.. they said that might not be possible right at that moment because we where in rough shape. My mother was very upset at this moment…I said to her finally you just getting mad now!! The nurse brought my sister in to the room…they said she was stable… but may not stay that way. The visit needed to be quick and monitored. My sister died in my moms arms 5 minute later from respiratory complications. I was in the NICU for a couple of months after I was born because of respiratory complications and later developed asthma on top of that. On July 28th 1977 I lost my sister and almost lost my mother and nearly died myself. I would say that I was born feisty, because I had to really fight to stay with my mom on this planet!

My mother’s birth story was horrendous and really shouldn’t have happen this way at all. I never want anyone to have to go through such a life changing event without any support. She was alone and afraid and that’s so unfair. The consequences of all this neglect where devastating and could have been prevented. with a doula at my mom side the care and protection and safety and security and a voice to sound the alarm and look after the general well being of all parts of my mom would have been administered. Saving my sisters life and lessoning our time in the hospital. Leaving more time for all of us to get aquatinted through skin on skin. Time to teach my mom how to bath, breast feed and care for us.